Shattered Dreams

So today I found out that my friend has finally had his dream come true. For almost 10 years he's been dreaming of being in the Army and as of tomorrow he will be officially sworn into the United States Army. I am thrilled for him, honest, but, well...I'm a mix of pure excitment for him and pure envy of him. I've been waiting just as long to see my dream fulfilled and its still years down the line...

I asked him what it feels like to have a dream come true. He said, "It feels good." I realized that I have no idea what it feels like. I can't think of one dream of mine that as come true all my life...Its hard to watch on as my friends start to reach theirs and I'm still stuck, still average with nothing to set me apart or make me unique. I've a friend working in New Zealand, another friend at Bible school where I would love to be, numerous friends have tied the knot, one friend is off travelling and now, one is in the army, one is headed back to Capernwray, and one has a sweet internship.

It was about a month ago I realized my dreams had fallen, and well, one has remained and been refined. I still dream of working in young women's ministries, retreats and bible studies and dicispleship and so on. But it is so far off...its just insanely and utterly discouraging. And so hard to be excited and pumped for my friend. Finding it hard to genuinely, completely rejoice with those who rejoice...