Awake

I'm in a place I never wanted to be. But a place we all end up for a season or two.

Spiritually, I'm laying in a big, comfy bed with a nice down comforter pulled over me and every time the Spirit nudges me to get up, I roll over and cover my face. I don't want to get up. I'm comfortable. I don't want to get up and be cold and not know what lies ahead. In my bed I know what lies ahead is more sleep. But just as you reach a point physically where you just cannot sleep anymore and you toss and turn until you finally throw off the covers and grumpily get out of bed, Spiritually our soul reaches this point too.

I'm tossing and turning. I know I am comfortable, I know I am fighting the daylight and the Spirit's wake-up call. I know I keep hitting the snooze button. But there is no snooze button today. Today I roll over and I see a very exhausted and hurt looking Jesus slumped against the wall just watching me. An unspoken look is traded where I know just how much my selfish desire to be comfortable has pushed him away, has been like punch in the face to him, and he knows just how ashamed and discouraged I feel right now for letting myself get so comfortable.

I'm awake now, I'm sitting up in bed and Jesus is standing in front of me waiting. Waiting to see what I'm going to do. Am I going to throw off the covers and run into his arms, find real comfort there in the midst of a chaotic world or will I lay back down and pull the covers over my head?

I know what I want to do. I know what I need to do. O Lord have mercy on this weak soul as I wake.