The Power of Words
Two words were said about me this weekend, two words wich elicted two differnt responses but made for a disappointing weekend with God. "Tease" and "Loud". Neither mouths that uttered these words meant them hurtfully, its just how I responded to them, no anger here, just well, confusion and a sense of failure as a Christian woman.
"Tease." This one just shocked me. I have never even considered myself a tease because well, I figured in order for one to be a tease one must not be one the extreme side of niavete and denial when it comes to guys and relationships. So as this was brought to my attention I've tried to understand how little oblivious me could come accross as a tease and how, if I really am a tease, how do I work on not being so when I don't even know what it is I do that is "tease" worthy? (A sidenote, if any of you guys who read this have some things please tell me...this is the last thing I want to be!)
"Loud." I think this description of me will always be the baine of my exsistence. I hate hearing it in conjuction with who I am but I hear it all to often. There are so many nights where I beg God that when I wake up the next morning I will wake to find he's changed me to be the sterotypical Christian woman who is quiet, gentle, graceful and loving, kind, and so on. Not this loud, outgoing, outspoken, opinionated, strong willed brat who struggles with her tongue and is little Miss Independant. So to hear it said about me, knowing full well it was not meant to be a mean comment or anything like, it made me go back to God and almost cry. I feel like such an odd duck half the time and just wish I could be quieter and described differently...is that the first thing people notice; that I'm loud?
On a very cognitive note: Its intriguing to me how a word said by person A with an intended meaning (be it positive, negative or neutral) can be heard by person B with an unintended meaning (be it positive, negative or neutral). Us humans are quite odd...
"Tease." This one just shocked me. I have never even considered myself a tease because well, I figured in order for one to be a tease one must not be one the extreme side of niavete and denial when it comes to guys and relationships. So as this was brought to my attention I've tried to understand how little oblivious me could come accross as a tease and how, if I really am a tease, how do I work on not being so when I don't even know what it is I do that is "tease" worthy? (A sidenote, if any of you guys who read this have some things please tell me...this is the last thing I want to be!)
"Loud." I think this description of me will always be the baine of my exsistence. I hate hearing it in conjuction with who I am but I hear it all to often. There are so many nights where I beg God that when I wake up the next morning I will wake to find he's changed me to be the sterotypical Christian woman who is quiet, gentle, graceful and loving, kind, and so on. Not this loud, outgoing, outspoken, opinionated, strong willed brat who struggles with her tongue and is little Miss Independant. So to hear it said about me, knowing full well it was not meant to be a mean comment or anything like, it made me go back to God and almost cry. I feel like such an odd duck half the time and just wish I could be quieter and described differently...is that the first thing people notice; that I'm loud?
On a very cognitive note: Its intriguing to me how a word said by person A with an intended meaning (be it positive, negative or neutral) can be heard by person B with an unintended meaning (be it positive, negative or neutral). Us humans are quite odd...
posted by KJ at
2:02 PM
1 Comments:
i totally get where you're coming from dear. people call me loud all the time, when i don't necessarily talk more or louder than an average human. i think people just think more people are "quiet" than they really are. sometimes it actually offends me when someone tells me i'm loud, but it depends who it is. i don't know.
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