On the Verge of Tears

I pretty much realized today that everything is out of my control. Literally. My bank account is at $0, homework is piling up, friends I've alienated because of working like a dog and getting paid peanuts and trying to do this school thing and serving in jr. high ministry they unfortunately have been the ones I've neglected. Which I hate. I hate that I don't have the time I once had, or the money to hang out. I hate that I spend more time trying to pitch junk and childhood memories of mine on Craig's list than I do talking with my friends. I hate that no matter how much I try to do life I feel I fail miserably. And I hate that lately I have too often questioned God in a way that frustrates me. I just don't understand this and I catch myself wondering if He really will provide for me. I've heard it said "God pays for what he orders" but this is the first time where I've really questioned this idea, this is the first time where I must rely on God, and I don't mean to sound trite...honestly, I have no choice but to trust him and to continue on, wondering how I'm going to get everything done, make time for friends and my girls and pay the bills.

Welcome to the harsh realities of life Kristin.