God's Hidden Justice

I sat accross from a friend this week watching as tears threatend to spill down her weathered cheeks. This woman had so much grief. Her husband died some odd years ago, her son was murdered a month ago and now her family in Lebanon is being bombed. So much hurt, so much pain. I sat there with nothing say and tearing up myself. And I kept thinking, how can God use any of this for his good?

I've been reading "When Life and Beliefs Collide" by Carolyn Curtis James (a book I would highly recommend every woman read and men should take a gander through too) and there was a chapter on the sovreignty of God--that everything works together for God's good and glory. I get it. I've heard it and has James says in her book, "we are great theologians in hindsight." This is true, but right now I look at my friend, at her pain and her hurt and her look of resignation and I wonder, where is God? Becuase of my hindsight, because I know he will work this for good I am looking, but in straining my eyes to find him here, I can't see him.

Sure I was able to love her and our church was able to show her some of Christ's love which she appericiated more than words can express, it brought a smile a joy, a hope even to her eyes as she said, "I thought there were no good people left in the world." And to get to share with her. But a few days later the bombing started. And she's devasted again. And her son's killer has a chance for a better life because he killed her son, with good behavior if convicted he can be out in seven years. He'll have a chance to get an education, to get help sobering up, medical anything, they'll help plug him back into society. He gets a second chance at life and George is dead. Where is justice? Where is God? I find it hard to believe the only good He will bring out of this is that I was able to share with her or that our church was able to give her some money. I know there is something more, I have to believe that God is doing something more. I just can't see it.

How has our world, our society become so unjust. Perhaps its just that I'm getting older and starting to see more of the sickness in this world, see more of the Enemy's work and the devasting effects of sin and tolerance. I don't know. All I know is that I must hold to believing God is doing a redemptive work somehow through his people, and that when he comes back he will be just in his judgment of this world. My finite mind struggles though to grasp the fairness of someone getting away with murder or because of murder getting a second, better chance at life. Of course I've considered, what if God will save this dark soul during his time in prision. And to be honest, to share some of my dark heart. I don't want him too. Its not fair. I don't understand the justice of God. I've never wrestled with something like this when its so close to home. I understand the gravity of all those stories of parents, widows, children, etc going and telling their loved's murderer they forgive them. I understand the difficulty. I'm not even related to George but I can't even begin to imagine not only forgiving his killer but welcoming him into the fold. Welcoming Pam, with joy and pleasure, but this guy? He doesn't deserve it! But then again neither did I, nor you, nor anyone else. I guess its times like these that reveal the still blackness of our hearts and the distance we still must go before we understand and love like God.

But I am looking far into speculation and ideas, I have no idea how this will play out but God does. And I have to trust he will be just. But how do I convey this conviction to this fragile woman weighed down by grief?