Last Year

Time is a funny thing. One year ago I was sitting on a train heading towards Vienna with three drunk Austrian teenagers who proceeded to vomit all over the car creating a fine aroma and a lasting memorable final experience on a European train. But I miss it. One year ago I was saying goodbye to dear friends, many of whom I will not see again this side of Glory. One year ago I stayed up until 3:45am talking with a friend. One year I was leaving a safe, protected bubble life and returning to America.

I remember one of my first days back I was sitting in a Starbucks and some businessmen were upset because there weren't enough cozy chairs. I remember being angry with them, "how could they be so worked up about something so stupid when there is so much more going on in the world!!!" I remember trying to adjust back to normal life where retreating to my own quietness was not a challenge at all...having a room all to myself, eating meals by myself. Part of me is still trying to adjust. And its been one year.

When I was by myself on the train and then in the hotel room and then at the supermarket in Vienna on my own I realized that for the first time in nine months I was on my own. And I was lonely. There is a part of that lonliness I still have. There was something special in those months that I cherish and I don't know if I will experience it again. But it was good, it was a taste of perhaps heaven. Oh of course there were moments I hated communal life but more than not I look back and wish I would've enjoyed it more while I was there.

But that is in the past and all that's left are memories. I can't live in the past, I won't let myself. So I've taken time to reflect and relive and enjoy the memories. And now I look forward to the future, forward to where I will be next year and how I will have changed and what new memories I will make. Hopefully none invloving drunk Austrian teens.

Thanks to all who made one year ago and then some such a great time in my life!!!