7.30.2007

The Blue Dream

Hold loosely...

...to this life.
...to these dreams.
...to these fears.
...to these hopes.
...to the future.

Hold them loosely my love for I am passionately for you and boldly leading you. Loosen your grip on what is fleeting and trust. Hold tightly only to my Word and I will hold tightly to you as I take you into the unknown, but first you must loosen your grip...

I've been having this dream for a while where I'm walking down a dark hallway, I'm moving fast and with purpose, headed for the door at the end. There's a blue light coming through the cracks and I press on down this long hallway. I pass all these other doors on my way, I don't ever see them but I know they are there. I reach the door and confidently, naturally turn the knob to open the door but it won't turn. I stop and try again. And again. I start shaking the door and pulling, kicking it and shouting at it and getting more and more frustrated and angry by the moment. This feels like it goes on for hours, I'm sweaty and exhausted and mad at the door, mad at the hallway and I slump to the floor and kick it one last time. Nothing. Just the most beautiful blue light coming through the cracks, taunting me with something I can't get too. I've been aware of all the other doors but hadn't taken notice, for some reason I look to the right and there is a door wide open, there's a haze inside and blue light too, its a different blue though. It draws my attention every time. For the longest time I would just stare at it until I woke up. Then I started to move towards it. And for the last year I've just stood in front of it, glancing back at the locked door and looking into the open one, the door I don't want, the door I don't know where it leads to. So I've been standing on the threshold in blatant defiance and never crossing it.

I had the dream again a couple of weeks ago and was thinking about it again recently, what it means, what is it a picture of, is the locked door full time ministry or is that the open door? Or are they both? What did I have for dinner that night? Am I going crazy or is the Lord actually trying to speak to me through my dreams again?

And then while I was driving home today, randomly thought of the dream and then the Lord said, hold loosely...