Confronting Evil

I forget too often how horrible Satan is, how cruel and heartless. I don't think there is a punishment harsh enough for him.

This last weekend I was at 8th grade retreat with our youth group. We split the girls and guys up to talk with them about what is it to be a man and a woman of God. One activity we did with the girls was have them identify the lies, shame and fears they have, defined as such:

Lies--anything that is opposed to what God has to say about me.
Shame--my demonic identity, the lies I believe.
Fear--anything that makes me take even half a step back from being the woman God created me to be.

After they had done this we broke into groups to share. Hearing the horribly false accusations these girls have been hearing over and over again in their hearts broke mine and filled me such a rage I have not felt before. The only object of my rage was the devil himself. The lies and shame the girls shared had no truth to them, not even one ounce...there was no twisting or distorting of the truth...it was all hallow and false. To hear the lies they have believed broke my heart even more, to hear the pain in their voices as they shared...to see such innocent beautiful young girls tortured by such evil was too much.

After our meeting time I spent a good deal journaling and came to the conclusion that not even eternal separation from God and eternal death in a lake of fire is harsh enough... I find myself wondering if Satan will truly get what deserves in the end. Is it possible for the greatest evil to suffer the greatest pain? I can't wrap my mind around it. But my anger at him for his treatment of my dear sisters doesn't care, my anger just says he's a punk to no end and should suffer the greatest of evils.

And I think the worst thing of it all is that the lies don't stop. Though we put God's truth to each lie and read so many verses to combat them, the lies will continue. If there is one thing I know its that the devil and his minions never go on vacation. The lies will come again repackaged perhaps but just as lethal. And the shame will come again and fears will still be there. How hard it is! How my heart breaks to see these girls struggle against so much!!!

But I hear them too. Yet I don't have the same reaction. When I hear them, I accept them. I don't revolt at the disgusting garbage thrown at me. Why is it so easy to fight for others and not yourself? Why do we accept such trash in our own lives but eagerly and with great joy take out the garbage in another's? I guess that's just how deeply rooted the lies are, we hear them, we accept them and believe that we cannot overcome them.

Truly he is evil and heinous beyond anything we can comprehend.

Finished

So 14 days have gone by.

No wonderfully deep insights to share.

I got a lot of rest.

I'm excited to go back to work tomorrow and see my co-workers and customers.

I'm not sure I'll ever know the reason.

14 Days

Thanks to an eventful Tuesday night in which I was involved in a hit and run accident (not my fault thank you) from which I have severe whiplash and a very painful back, I am off work for two weeks. 14 days that had already been planned out, scheduled into my daytimer. Now those 14 days are blank.

I feel guilty not being at work. But its not my fault. I didn't ask to get rear-ended at 35 mph and get out of work. But it happened. As a Christian I understand that this was allowed by God. For what purpose? Ah, now that's where my vision gets blurred. I don't know. I find myself this morning asking God, "What do you want with me in these next 14 days?" I don't doubt for one moment that God has a plan in this for his will in my life.

Perhaps he wants me to rest.

Perhaps something else will happen in the next two weeks for which I needed to be out of work.

Perhaps he's saving me from that which is Starbucks drama.

Perhaps I'll never get an answer.

One thing I do know for certain, though we use the word "accident" I know it was not. God has his invisible hand in this and he has purpose. I need to trust and listen for his voice. And that makes me excited for the next two weeks, even though I still feel guilty about not working (workaholics usually do) I know that this will probably be an amazing time off.